So, apart from the fifteen cycles through the automated troubleshooting, I've spent 25 minutes on the phone being asked to perform tricks like a performing seal to demonstrate what I already knew: the problem with my internet connection following a local lightning strike, is not with my premises or equipment.
Telstra want me to believe that my outage and my father-in-law's outage 7 houses down the street are incredibly co-incidental and to do with mysterious phantom changes made to the modem and hardware arrangement mgically by me while I was, in fact 100km away at work.
Nothing to do with lightning.
Nothing to do with the whole street being out.
Incredible.